Touching The Untouchables #7: The Pope

Did you hear the latest one by that Pope guy? You must have heard how, earlier this week, he decided to once again demonstrate his prowess at pomposity with his latest message to the world. And as far as pathetically pompous pontifications go, this one was a definite keeper.

I already touched on this Benedict guy in a rant back in December after he came out with his X'mas Message Of Hate towards gays. Well now, it seems, he's got a much larger target in mind: All Non-Catholics. Yes, according to a new document just released by Benny XVI, Catholicism provides the only true path to salvation. And that's not all, only the Catholic Church, it seems, is a real church, all others are not even worthy of being referred to as such, except for Orthodox churches, which are merely "defective".

What is this, Benny, the 17th century or something? Will somebody please tell the guy to get a grip.

But seriously, who is this portentously pretentious prick with his perverse pent-up prejudices? Do you think he really sees himself as someone special or, like the Wizard of Oz, do you think he knows that he's got to keep up the act lest he be found out for the fraud he is? I mean, no one really believes in the whole Pope-is-closer-to-God-than-all-others silliness, do they? And that whole white smoke thing, I sure hope no one in this modern day and age actually thinks that that signals God's approval of a new Pope.

Really now, think about it, of all the people on the planet, somehow God only "chooses" Europeans and, for centuries and centuries there, no one but Italians as his chief confidant, his #1 go-to guy, his consigliere. That doesn't sound right, does it? Now, don't get me wrong, Europeans and, in particular, Italians are really great people and all, but I just don't see any deity being that racist and small-minded.

And besides, do you really think God, who doesn't seem to have any time or willingness to intervene as millions die in droughts, famines, wars and pandemics, would actually get involved in organized religion? Aside from possibly raging at all the hypocrisy, wouldn't you agree that God could probably care less about some guy who's so full of himself that he claims to lead all true Christians worldwide? Regardless of how nice this Pope guy's robes and hats may be, I just don't see God taking an interest.

But I'm not here to write about the Papacy in general, nor about this ultra-conservative, reactionary caretaker Pope, what I'm here to talk about is Benny's like-minded reactionary predecessor and brother in arms, Pope John Paul II. Now I understand we're supposed to revere the guy as some sort of saint, but I don't have a clue why. I simply can't revere, let alone respect, someone who spent two full decades doing everything in his power to spread death and poverty throughout Latin America, Asia and especially Africa.

The whole promotion - yes, promotion - of poverty and destitution for the poor and uneducated didn't originate with John Paul II, of course. He just continued the Vatican's long tradition of telling the poor to have more and more kids even if they couldn't feed them. You know, the whole "Don't use birth control" bullshit.

"Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good..." ( )

What was new under John Paul II's watch, however, was AIDS and he passionately fought tooth and nail against the only realistic way to combat the pandemic: condoms. If millions had to die, so be it, what really mattered was doctrine, not human lives, not human suffering, not even millions of children orphaned.

We're talking about a man much more concerned with Church teachings and power than with the suffering of the poor and disenfranchised. It doesn't really matter if you can feed or care for your kids or if you and your whole family die of AIDS, just make sure you follow all of Church doctrine.

This, by any standard, was morally reprehensible, or, to use the religious term, evil.

What I'm saying here is Pope John Paul II was personally and directly responsible for hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of deaths, as well as immeasurable pain and suffering. You just don't preach extremely dangerous bullshit to poor, uneducated, desperate and extremely religious people without being held accountable for the resulting disaster that follows.

Of course, AIDS would still have killed millions had the Catholic Church taken a more humane, compassionate, intelligent, practical and non-doctrinaire approach to the whole crisis. That is, if they had endorsed the distribution, use and promotion of condoms in countries and regions ravished by the epidemic. But millions of others could have been saved and so much suffering could have been avoided.

You've got to have your priorities. And, hey, John Paul's (as are Benny's) were doctrine and tradition above all else, even human lives. You just can't get any less Christ-like than that, if you ask me.

Sexist, homophobic, pro-death, lacking in any sort of human compassion, doctrinaire. Now John Paul may have been big into all of that last century, but it's now the 21st century, so Benny can't really be serious with his latest "Only Catholics can get into heaven" shit, can he? Perhaps it was all in jest. Yeah, that's it. And didn't Elton John, of all people, predict just that in that old song of his, "Benny and The Jest"?

Either way, what I want to know is can't we all just get along without any of this ridiculous "I'm going to heaven and you're not, na na na na na" crap? Come on Benny, it's just not funny anymore.

Mike Cowie (Oredakedo)
Saturday, July 14th, 2007

Teresa, the Merciless

Mike, How about a bit of Teresa the Merciless? Cheers, Atanu PS: Google "atanu teresa" for some good stuff.