What a Dick!...tator: The Musharraf Rant

A.K.A. Bush's Dick - And I Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Cheney

What you've got over there in Pakistan right now is yet another one of those petty power-obsessed pricks doing what petty power-obsessed pricks always seem to do: Usurp power. Like so many other egotistical, megalomaniacal buffoons, this Musharraf idiot sees himself as the savior of his country. And to save it, of course, he must attack anyone and everyone that challenges his right to be Big Boss and Supreme Savior. If that means destroying the judiciary and throwing all the legitimate democratic leaders in jail, well so be it. Like Mugabe, like Kim Jong Mentally-il, like Pinochet, like Gaddafi, like every other Messianic Savior of Nation and People out there, he not only knows that he's right and everyone else is wrong, he also knows that he alone can see the way forward and he alone can save the nation from ruin. A ridiculously pathetic buffoon, straight and simple.

And, it should be noted that, like all those before him in the world of miltary strongmen, he's deemed himself entitled to a bit of extra payment for all this extracurricular salvation work he's had to do for the nation. The man owns over ten million dollars worth of real estate and the only job he has ever had is that of an army officer. But he knows it's alright to pay himself for his services, he knows because Great Leader tells him so. And when Great Leader is your buddy Dubya, supposed "Leader of The Free World", you know it's got to be ok.

Yes, it's true, Bush coddles, fondles and caresses this petty and pathetic Usurper and self-aggrandizing prick as if he were his very own, er, Dick...tator. Much like China with their friendly military ruler friends in Burma and elsewhere, Bush not only refuses to condemn, but openly supports, what he clearly considers to be a friendly enough dictatorship.

As Musharraf destroys the country's judiciary, sacks and imprisons the Supreme Court, silences the media, and locks up all those democratic leaders who don't support him, Bush sits by and refuses to strongly condemn any of it. Not only does he refuse to condemn, he also keeps the money flowing in. And, crucially, it's that money that ensures that Musharraf and his cronies stay in power. We're talking about hundreds of millions of dollars in cash pumped directly to the Pakistani Army.

It's really a no brainer, isn't it, if you want to undermine the civilian democratic institutions in any country all you've got to do is keep the money flowing directly to the generals rather than to the government itself. But, to be fair, in this case it wouldn't really matter either way since Mushy The Megalomaniac is simultaneously head of the military, head of state, president of the country, head of the yacht club, head of the national mountaineering federation and, amazingly, captain of the national cricket team as well... at least when he has time. Heard he's even the top judge AND winner of this year's Pakistani Idol too. Yes, he's that special!!

Doesn't it often seem as if Bush has taken some sort of vow, a vow against ever taking the moral high ground on any foreign policy issue? It's as if he's consciously taking the position that will most increase hatred towards America, most increase radicalism, most increase the support of the local fundamentalists and most increase the rest of the world's disdain for America. He reminds me a bit of one of those guys who used to walk around Europe whipping himself as punishment for past sins and in order to prove his love for God or some such absurd silliness.

I understand Bush is "The War President" and all, and, for some reason, that seems to mean he can never take a position other than the most asinine available, but, still, you'd think he might feel at least slightly hypocritical supporting a military Dick-tator who's busy rounding up the country's democratic, judicial and human rights leaders. But I guess not, we are talking about Bush here, someone who seems convinced of his infallibility and the idea that History will inevitably vindicate everything he's done. And he may in fact be right... as long as The History Channel is eventually bought by FoxNews.

As you may or may not have heard, Bush's envoy was just over there in Pakistan urging Musharraf to lift emergency rule/martial law - get this - not immediately, but before elections in January. It's as if Bush is saying it's ok to fire the Supreme Court, lock up your democratic opponents and muzzle the press, just as long as you return to a semblance of democracy within a few months. And I guess if anyone knows the importance of a loyal Supreme Court it's George W. Bush, right?

And since Bush has openly stated that he doesn't read newspapers or really follow the news all that much, it's likely he may not know this, but he probably should: Musharraf and the Pakistani Army were THE main backers and arms suppliers of the Taliban right up until September 11th, 2001, right up until they were faced with the option of either American bombardment or ditching their Taliban friends in turn for billions of dollars in military aid. The point is that, unlike in Turkey where the army is the defender of the secular constitution, these army assholes in Pakistan are hardly your upholders of secular democratic tradition. In fact, they have continuously overthrown elected leaders and then either executed them, as in the case of Bhutto's father, or forced them into exile, as was the case with Bhutto herself. Sixty years of overthrowing and undermining democracy and creating chaos. What a legacy!

Bush is impressed too. "He has done more for democracy in Pakistan than any modern leader has."

That's Bush on Musharraf yesterday. Seriously! He actually said that! That's how disconnected the guy is from reality. But, then again, perhaps he meant it in a "Milli Vanilli has done more for modern music than any other group" way or a Steven Seagal has done more for the art of acting than..." or "Paris Hilton has done more for women's rights than...".

All this Orwellian silliness (martial law to make the country safe for democracy; a dictator to lead "free" elections while simultaneously locking up his political opponents and muzzling the press, etc.) is a lot like a dream... Dick Cheney's dream of utopia, that is.

As many others have already observed, if this self-serving, self-satisfied Musharraf fool is Bush and the Western World's idea of a Great Leader and its symbol of modernity and democracy then the ordinary people of Pakistan can be forgiven for turning to more radical and extreme forces in their country.

It should be remembered that Musharraf came to power back in 1999 by overthrowing the elected government of the day and appointing himself president simply because he felt like it. He, like the other jokers before him who have seized power in the country, justified his power grab by claiming that basically all of the civilian politicians were corrupt and only the army could clean things up. There's a simple response to this cheap rationalization for seizing power... however, anyone in Pakistan who wants to bring up the fact that all the top generals in the army have miraculously become extraordinarily rich would, of course, be risking his/her life.

Once again I stress that this thug says he had to impose martial law in order to combat extremists, but the only people he's been throwing into jail, placing under house arrest and firing are the secular, progressive, democratic types. Exactly like Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe. And when you're starting to behave like Robert Mugabe you really should realize it's time to leave the stage. But, of course, if you're like Robert Mugabe you'd never realize that, would you?

Musharraf may indeed step down as army chief and lift martial law relatively soon, but you better believe he'll keep his handpicked puppet Supreme Court and (together with his buddy, General Ashfaq Kiyani, his handpicked successor as army chief) he'll continue to run the country as his personal little fiefdom.

But don't you just wish somebody would tell him: "Hey look, Bozo, YOU are the biggest threat to the country's democratic traditions, would you please just go away!". But, sadly, I see him sticking around till the next military Dickhead overthrows him and comes along to "Save" the nation from itself once again. Let's hope I'm wrong though. A country can only stand so many Dicks in a row.

Mike Cowie (Oredakedo)
Wednesday, November 21st, 2007


Oh Mike, you are so right, and sooo passionate -- good for you, keep it up!   We need more ethically Christian/Buddhist etc. people on this earth, to guide the populace. Sheelane  PS. I underline the word "ethically"