The Bigus Dikus Rant: The Bush and Dick Show

Don't you ever get the feeling that George W. is a whole lot like Pontius Pilate in Monty Python's classic film "Life Of Brian" and he just can't figure out why everyone's laughing at him? You know, Pontius Pilate, he of the best friend Bigus Dikus.

And you certainly know George W., he of the simple mind and even simpler world view (with us or against us; good vs. evil; etc.). And, hey, how can you not laugh at the guy? I mean, he even has his very own Bigus Dikus, even if he prefers to call him Cheney. Here's a guy, this George W., that you can laugh at without feeling even the slightest bit of guilt. While Pontius in "Life Of Brian" was suffering from a speech impediment, George W. is suffering from nothing but his own arrogance, ignorance, incompetence and pigheadedness.

And, really, how can you not laugh? "I'll testify at the 9-11 Commission, but only if Big Dick is sitting right beside me. And, hell no, I won't swear under oath to tell the truth. Why should I do that?" This is also the guy who led a war to rid the world of Iraq's W.M.D. and then said, on failing to find any, that the W.M.D. didn't really matter after all, and that the war was actually about some other things. And this is the joker who continues to send American kids off to die in a meaningless war, in which thousands of Iraqis have also been killed (in order to free them!), but who didn't even bother showing up for his full (zero-risk, easy-as-hell) National Guard duty back when other not-so-rich-and-well-connected kids were off dying in Vietnam. This is the guy who was supposed to go on Arab TV and apologize for the torture of Iraqi detainees by U.S. soldiers, but who just couldn't do it due to his stubborn and arrogant pride (O.k. so, yeah, he finally did half-apologize, but only by way of explaining that he had earlier apologized in private to the King of Jordan).

Furthermore, this is the guy who apparently takes National Prayer Day more seriously than almost anything else - anything besides vacationing, that is. Yes, this is the guy who seems to have spent about half of his entire presidency on vacation. And, yes, this is the same guy who thinks he can give away parts of the West Bank to the Israelis just because he feels like it - as if it were just a few acres off of his big Texan ranch. And, finally, you may remember that this is the guy who lost the 2000 election by more than half a million votes and then humbly declared that he planned to govern from the center "for all Americans", but then, I guess, simply changed his mind about all that and has instead led the most divisive, ideologically extreme and reckless administration in modern American history. I mean, Bush and his team of extremists actually make people like Nixon and Reagan look like moderates! Seriously!

So, yeah, he's a funny guy and, like Monty Python's Pontius Pilate, he's probably way too dim to ever figure out why everyone's laughing. But wouldn't it be nice if we could actually just laugh... and only laugh? However, the reality is that Bush The Second, Bigus Dikus Cheney, I'm-Beyond-Perfection Rumsfeld, Adam-And-Eve-Is-A-True-And-Literal-Story Fundamentalist and Apparent Airhead Ashcroft, along with the rest of the War-Mongering Team, are much, much scarier than funny. And sometimes it's hard to laugh when they're wrecking havoc with the world and causing so many problems and so much death and suffering due to their arrogance, blind ideology and stupidity. But, still, I think George W. would make a great Monty Python character if the group were ever to reform and make another movie. His character could even be joined at the hip to Bigus Dikus Cheney, like Siamese twins, and that way the two of them could always testify together - though never under oath of course.

Mike Cowie (Oredakedo)
Sunday, May 30th, 2004


For more on American politics try these:

The 11-Year-Old Terrorist Rant (A.K.A. The Great Leader Rant)


Bye Bye Buffoon: The Final Bush Rant (Featuring Supertramp)


Fear and Loathing in The Heartland: Republicans' Lovefest With Ignorance
Red, (Very) White and Clueless: The Tale of Two Americas
And not to forget this perennial favorite: It's Called Conservativitus: The Pity The Conservatives Rant
And check out a few political pieces on the Middle East here: Politics: Middle East
And for lots more on politics of all types visit the Politics Homepage


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I am 70 years old and have never voted in my life and do not intend to,if this is what the electorate can expect from its govt.