The 11-Year-Old Terrorist Rant (A.K.A. The Great Leader Rant)

Of course we all know those 3 boys (aged 13, 15 and 15) that the Americans just released from the Guantanamo Bay gulag were a serious threat to U.S. and world security. We know because Great Leader told us so. And just like he told us a few years back that he was a moderate who was going to govern from the center, and just like he told us last year that Iraq unquestionably possessed large stockpiles of W.M.D., Great Leader also told us, repeatedly, that those held at Guantanamo Bay were, and are, very serious threats to American and international peace and security. And, of course, we all trust and believe in Great Leader because he is, after all, The Leader Of The Free World - and self-anointed titles simply don't come much better than that, with the possible exception of Idi Amin's claim to be the King Of Scotland.

So, accepting Great Leader's word to be nothing less than fair, honest, wise and true, I still have a question or two. First of all, what was it exactly that these 13 to 15 year old Agents Of Terror, these Enemies Of Freedom, these Threats To Our Way Of Life, these Taliban and Al-Qaeda Masterminds, what threat exactly did they pose and why do they now no longer pose it?

One other thing, the reports said that 2 of the 3 were held for the past 2 years while one was picked up a year ago. Now it's not clear which was which/who was who, but if my math is correct that means we were possibly (originally) dealing with an 11-year old Threat To World Security or, at the very least, one 12-year old and two 13-year old Masterminds Of Terror. Thank God they were locked up and we were protected and safe! No, come to think of it, don't thank God, thank Great Leader!

Mike Cowie (Oredakedo)
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004